Life is Weird

So as not to bury the lede: I’m fine!

All is well here, except for the fact that I cannot, for the life of me, sleep like a normal person anymore. On the flip side, I had a check up with Dr. M a couple weeks ago to see how things were going with the Anastrozole. Upshot: all is well. I’m not having any noticeable problems with the med, so Dr. M doesn’t want to see me for a year. Woo hoo! A whole year. This is one less 6-month doctor’s appointment, which is no small thing for a person who had about 40 visits to doctors last year (counting radiation treatments, which obviously padded that number). I will gladly knock that total number of annual visits down, one at a time, until I’m like a normal person.

No, one of the reasons life is weird is that I have a friend who just found out she carries mutations on the BRCA2 gene. This came out of the blue for her, and she’s now trying to figure out what to do with this information. Maybe this doesn’t seem so weird to you. The reason it’s weird for me is that I had a dream about her the night before I received this news. In this dream, there was something wrong with her. Something needed to be taken out of her. I was very unsettled by this dream, and thought of calling her the next morning, but I doubted myself and then the day got away, and then, you know…

Except that I then got a note from her that night, telling me this news.

Another reason life is weird is that I am now the person that people go to if they have questions about cancer. Not everyone, obviously, but I have received a lot of questions from friends if they’ve got concerns about cancer, or something potentially cancerous, or if they know someone else who’s in a similar position. I don’t mind. In fact, I’m happy to be able to provide any insight or support or empathy (instead of sympathy!) if I can. But it’s odd to be that person.

Similarly, I’m now the person to talk to if you have some sort of life-altering illness. And again, let me stress that I don’t mind this one bit. But I sometimes find myself wondering how I became that person.

And then I remember. Oh, right. I lived/am living/will live that suite of experiences.

Life is weird.

Life is Weird